I remember back in 2006 seeing the Adam Sandler film Click with my mother. This came out shortly after my Grandfather Don was diagnosed with dementia and Alzheimer's. The part near the end where Adam Sandler's character Michael learns that he wasn't there for his father Ted (played by the charming Henry Winkler) when he died really tugged at me in ways that I couldn't accurately describe. When I told Mom this, she told me to enjoy the time I had left with my Grandpa, because his time would be coming up soon.

Literally five minutes ago I received the call from my Grandmother telling me that my beloved Grandfather had passed away.

It is hard to detail just exactly how it is I'm feeling right now. I'm sad, but I'm not crying. I'm angry, but I'm not raging. I think the word that suits best right now is "numb."

I'm also relating to Michael in ways I never thought possible, because, like him, I squandered the time I should have spent enjoying. At least that's how it feels...

After my grandfather was diagnosed, he was transferred to a nursing home nearby. This would have been a good thing if it weren't for the fact they constantly wiped the place down with industrial strength disinfectant. One thing you should all know about me is that I have a myriad of allergies and chemical sensitivities, so for a person like me to go in there is like you asking to be sprayed in the face with mace. Now, granted, I did see him on the important occasions (holidays, his birthday, other family members birthdays, etc.) but...

Damn it...

[End of line.]